It’s not ideal to always linger on the edge. At some point a decision has to be made on the direction one must take.
For many years I have done just that. Lingered on the edges, always watching, always waiting.
I’ve known that my calling is ‘edgy’ and that is why I never fully applied myself to it. So I found ways around it. Ways of doing what I thought was the ‘next best thing.’
Courses worked for me … dabbling in different areas used up time. I have just spent two years as a cookery student. I enjoyed it immensely but always knew that it was only going to be a small part of my future.
I also embarked on a prayer ministry course. This was over a two year period. I enjoyed learning and growing through that course. We dealt together with many issues. Powerful stuff. Spiritual growth, inner growth, dealing with past issues.
But once again, it would only be a part of what my future would entail. Helpful? Yes. The complete answer for me? No.
Prior to these I also attended conferences and courses. One I thoroughly enjoyed was the “Speaker 2” course. This was essentially a communication course, and covered various areas of preaching and sharing with others.
The complete answer? No. Helpful? Yes, absolutely!
What was wrong with me? How could I still live on the edge after attending and being enriched by so many varied and interesting courses?
Still I struggled to reach the summit …
For I was doing it in my own strength. I wasn’t listening to God.
He called me to train in a place which encompasses all of those areas of learning.
Its taken me thirty years to realise that the time to stop running away (from the call) is now.
To surrender to the call of God on my life is to lay down my own agenda and interests and accept that He has a better plan for me.
So I have begun the walk to the summit. There are procedures which must be followed and I have to be patient and accept that these could take time.
It is me who has delayed things – because I lingered on the edges for too long!