I am an entitled ex. Not a fancy name, but one I found wearing throughout an event today.
I was at the funeral of my ex-father in law. He was a magnificent man, a good friend, one of life’s true gentlemen. He was married to the same wonderful woman for the past 56 years. I was entitled to go, as for 12 years I saw him as my Dad as well. We would chat on all sorts of topics, and right to the end he was knowledgeable on a huge variety of subjects. Never far away was the crossword or wordgame in the local newspaper.
Over the past few years he has been very ill, and so for that reason, death was seen as a release from the pain and suffering.
I was not the only “entitled to be there” ex. Therefore it was an extraordinary event.
My ‘ex’ had his current lady plus both of his ex-wives there.
Also at the event were other ex’s of other family members. It was altogether lovely.
Plus it did show something of the nature of the person who had left this life for eternal life.
He was non-judgmental of his five children and their various life challenges. Once invited into the family circle, you enjoyed a type of membership into any family event for as long as you so desired. The only time I guess it would ever be different is if you chose for it to be. They are close, and fiercely loyal toward each other. It is beautiful to watch and to be part of.
Although I don’t choose to attend many of their family gatherings these days due to my own life changes, I felt absolutely privileged to be at the funeral today. I felt almost privileged to be an ‘entitled ex’ – (even though going through a separation almost three years ago was not part of my life plan). I am privileged to be still friendly with all of the family, including my ‘ex’ and his new partner.
Due to family separations, divorces, blended families and the prevalence of ‘just live together’ couples these days, events such as the above mentioned will become more prevalent.
I believe it is important to maintain a quality through life that would allow you to walk in with your head high to an event that may at the start seem a bit strange and almost uncomfortable.
The benefits of doing just that, will, I believe, last forever.